Guardian Angels

Even on the most difficult times, friends will always be there. They make ordinary events special. Memorable. And definitely worth the time spent. I'm thankful that even for just one second, they make me forget all the worries that I have in mind. Just the same, I'm always here for them.

To the right, to the right

Funny. At first I was like, "Really? May 'to the right, to the right' version ang Irreplaceable ni Beyonce?'" Wow. Meron nga.

The songs's entitled To The Right by Papoose (a rapper -- i don't know him, actually). It's part of his album 'Streetsweepers Present Papoose: The 4th Quarter Assassin: Holiday Hitman' released last year (2006).

*all the credits go to Ann. [salamat sa impormasyon]

Insomniac

"There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question.."


Wala lang. Gusto ko lang 'ilagay ulit 'tong lyrics na 'to.
Hindi ako makatulog eh. Theoretically, tonight dapat ang pinakamahimbing na tulog ko.
I stayed awake for long hours kasi during the last two nights because of these two freakin' exams in Plant Physiology. I hope I'd get a fair credit for the efforts I've given, makapag-aral lang ng maayos sa subject na 'to.

So 'yun. Ang weird. Ba't ako hindi makatulog.. Actually nagising lang ako ng mga 12mn kanina. 10pm yata ako natulog eh. So bale 2 hours pa lang ako natutulog pero paggising ko kanina, it really felt like I was asleep na for so long.. wow - really weird.

It's Ash Wednesday. Projected plan: lunch time we go and attend the mass at the PGH Chapel (mass is every 12:15pm to 1pm). We didn't make it dahil dun sa EXHAUSTING laboratory exam na yun sa Bio 121. Whew. SO MUCH -- so much for a 1 unit course. Ibang klase. Daig pa ang Microbiology Lab Exams.

Thankfully we managed to catch the mass later that afternoon (around 5pm). Nagpaalam na lang kami sa prof. She said it was okay, as long as may maiiwan na groupmate para hintayin yung ino-autoclave. At yun nga. Surprisingly after nung mass (6.30 na yata nun) eh nandun pa sa school sila ma'am at yung iba. So medyo may naitulong pa kami ng konti (though halos patapos na rin sila..). I think this was the very first time na hindi nag-overtime ang laboratory class namin sa Microbiology (for the record: the latest time was 9.30pm).

And then umuwi ako agad. Hindi dahil sabik akong umuwi.

I really love going to school. I enjoy being in school. Wala lang. 'Eto kasi yung idea na pinaka-unang pumasok sa isip ko kaninang umaga pagdating na pagdating ko eh. (di ba, lala -- and you thought i was thinking weird). Ang boring kasi sa bahay. Eh sa school - nandun na lahat. Nandun yung gusto kong laging makita. Yung mga ayaw kong makita nandoon din, nakikihalo. Sa school ko rin nare-realize kung gaano pala ka-complicated ang buhay. Dito nagsisimula ang mga problema. Kadalasan dito rin naaayos. Of course, dito ako natututo, hindi lang ng mga bagay na itinuturo ng mga prof. A lot more than that. Sa school ako madalas magkuwento at makipagtawanan. Pero dito rin ako madalas maasar o ma-bad trip.
Kaya gusto kong pumapasok sa school eh. It makes me feel human.

Naku, past 2am na. Pero ba't ganun hindi pa rin ako inaantok. Nag-midnight snack na nga ako. Haaay. Baka mamaya antukin ako sa class ni ma'am devs. No.. hindi pwede. Oops may make-up class pala sa Eco today. so now i have to force myself na matulog na. Trivia: i've never attended an early-morning make-up class in ecology. not one. (or i'm just suffering from short-term memory loss? i don't know.)

Feb. 21 became a really significant date this year because of Moi.
Grabe mabuti naman at naisipan mong dumalaw. Nakaka-miss ka, swear.
Siguro kung nasa school ka lang, baka sa'yo ako humihingi ng advice tungkol sa mga bagay-bagay.
Thank you sa lahat.


"..and all at once the crowd begins to sing.
Sometimes,
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

---

"Insomniac" is Green Day's fourth studio album, released in 1995.

..rheyian™ XD

Doodles

Random thoughts are kind of mind-boggling at times. But as a whole, they exhibit the very nature of what I really want to emphasize. Only indirectly. Or something like that. And then when I reread it, i find it difficult to connect each idea.

But it's the fun part, too.

Why did I say that?

Ambisyoso

if i were kuya twit, i won't let ian manage all the bills that i left there in the philippines. he hates errands.

if i were ate len, i will regularly prepare dinner at an earlier time.

if i were my dad, i'll bring ian with me to europe after his graduation on 2008, and let him pursue medicine there. (hehe)

if i were fai, i'll frequently wear the traditional muslim outfit. it will absolutely look good on me. and people won't be confused whether i'm a muslim or not.

if i were arlene, i'll give my bestfriend a hug. a very big and warm one. and i'll hate ian if next week he still hasn't downloaded the songs i asked him to save on his phone. argh.

if i were karen, i'll practice being a nocturnal creature. how? with a pc, a phone line, internet card.. that wouldn't be a problem. :)

if i were blythe, i'll continue smiling everyday. and i'll bring a lot of food on monday 'cause it's the chinese new year tomorrow!

if i were rosa, i'll make sure that susie won't go back to the repair shop again. ever! she causes too much problem if she's away.

if i were sithli, i'll check my phone always so that not one sms is delayed or not a single call is missed. :) and i won't skip meals when at school. and i won't be late, too.

if i were ann, i'll study more (wahahaha, that's a joke of course. why study more?). anyway. if i were ann, i will have another shot of makel's siomai 'cause they're really good; but i'll have to make sure that i always have a loperamide with me (hehe)

if i were nikko, i'll update my blog. :)

if i were lala, hmm.. i'll let the whole world know about happy slip because happy slip is one hell of a site that brings happiness to everyone who sees it. truly wonderful. i'll wear a skirt often. and wear contacts.

if i were jk rowling, i will spend my next 3 years cruisin' and havin' fun around the bahamas. after that, i'll continue my job as a writer and pursue a few more harry potter books (woohoo! then ian will be really happy..)

if i were borat, i'll visit the philippines. the place will be a great location for another absolutely funny documentary. :)

if i were a stranger, i will buy the creative divicam 316 being sold by ian. it's the perfect deal! :)

if i were a pokemon, i'll be ling-ling. :)

if i were david blaine, um.. i'll visit val. she'll be really happy (and surprised) to see me.

if i were prospero pichay, i'll stop using the campaign banner "itanim sa senado" 'cause it's really funny.

if i were on grey's anatomy, i'll play george's part.

if i were a rich kid, i'll hire a katulong who will do my laundry, wash the dishes, cook really good food, and clean my room.

if i were you, what do you think will i do?

..rheyian™ XD

Untitled

What a great way to end this week!

• Empty-handed
• Finally, natapos din ang mga lectures for Plant Physiology (that will cover our second exam). honestly, wala akong masyadong naabsorb. kung hindi lang dahil sa mga photosynthetic pathways (glycolysis, TCA cycle, ETC system) na na-discuss din in my Microbiology Class (i soooo love this subject) eh wala na talaga akong maisasagot sa 2nd exam ko (which is on tuesday na). Fai and Rosa were actually the ones who wrapped up the discussion. Nag-report kasi sila. Basta. Because of Magneto's rage.
• Micro, micro, micro!
• The term disinfect is only applicable to inanimate objects (nonliving things). for humans (and other animals), it should be sanitize
• The Pseudomonas bacteria can proliferate in a diluted disinfectant solution
• There are several stages in determining how serious a cold is:
• when the mucuos is clear and mabula-bula pa (the normal state) --> the exact words from my prof
• when it becomes white (milky) - still typical
• light yellow mucous - infected with Staph. aureus
• yellowish and sticky (yuck)
• GREENISH, slimy mucuos - presence of Pseudomonas and other bacteria.
• Eeew
• "naku, ian, ba't parang naka-tingin lagi sa atin sir..?"
• though initially i'm not really comfortable with my ecology lecture prof., i find him amusing everytime he starts teaching.

 

• My grand class finale
• my laboratory class in ecology was the grand finale of my valentine week in school. we ended up laughing at the top our lungs because of totally hilarious jokes and ideas, which started when the question of what's the secret to live a longer life popped up. "sex!" one shouted. and then someone reacted "oohh, really? cool."
• "no it's not. donating blood is the better answer."
• uhm, excuse me. how the hell will i donate blood?! anemic pa nga yata ako. --and then the issue of being fat and thin came out.. batuhan ng mga banat.
• then i don't actually remember why the topic shifted to breast sizes.. hmm.. and my prof. started telling a story of how a man actually died "happily" when his face was accidentally 'buried' between his wife's 'extra large u know what' causing suffocation. the woman was accused of murder but was then acquited. oh well.
• and oh. sir go worked as a sales rep. before. :)
• Pop! goes my heart
• my friends and i wanted to have a post-valentine gimik, so we decided to go out after our class (which ended up quite early - it was supposed to be until 7pm)
• unfortunately, only four of us made it. (uh oh. issues.. haha. joke.) i dont really know why but some of them already went home.
• after an intense conversation with lala (*hehe*). we ended up watching a movie. Music and Lyrics. Very nice.
• And oh, the soundtrack album is absolutely fantastic. I already have a copy. Wahahaha.. Really cool Music.. and the Lyrics, of course.

Play. Rewind. Skip. Eject.

time machines amaze me. back then, i always wondered what would it be like if i were at this or that specific point in time. it's not that i wanted to change something in the past - i know i did a lot of mistakes back then, but what can i do.. i made them. they're already part of my history that won't be erased no matter what.

but what amazes me more is the future.
if i could only see what will happen next..

until recently.

(no, i certainly did not use a time machine, of course!)


there was this lad whom i knew so well that sometimes i get to see how similar we were. i get to see myself in him.
yeah. we basically have the same taste. a bit.
i like what he likes. i do what he usually does.
and we think almost of the same things.
almost.


way back, i had a plan. no, a decision. a serious decision, and actions must be taken afterwards. but i was unsure. the risk that i might be taking is tremendous, i thought. so i temporarily decided not to do it.

if i could only see what will happen next..


and then..

it was fortunate enough for me to tell myself that he plans to do the same thing.
(we really are thinking the same way. haha)

and he did what i'm supposed to do.

unfortunately for him, things didn't work out the way they should be. and it was all over for him.


so now i'm having a hard time thinking about it all over again. should i do it, too?
will we have the same future. maybe yes, maybe not. nevertheless, i'm quite thankful that what happened at least showed me one of the possibilities.


until now, i haven't done it yet.

and then that was how i realized how unsimilar we are from each other, after all.

..rheyian™ XD

Destabilized

as compared to what and how i think right now, i can say that few years back (or maybe months back), i wasn't really so sure of myself. it seemed like i was going nowhere before. planktonic. go-with-the-flow: each morning i go to school. study for long hours. take an exam. get a relatively low grade. then try again.
very similar things each day that sometimes i tend to ask myself. "where will this take me?"

but now i'm not. (okay, well..)

how was that. i tried thinking of what i wanted to be in the near future. what i would be doing someday. where i'll be someday. and all that. i started creating this picture, a mural of myself with all the people that i maybe working with (or i'll be with) someday. and then i realized that this idea is really just this close. this close. it's only a matter of 3 to 5 years na lang.
and if i don't do something, it could be too late for me.

so here i am now. relatively more focused on what i do.

but seriously, that transitory period was the worst for me this year (really not a good way to start a year). guess what. i started hating people who weren't seriously doing their jobs. tipong yung mga taong pa-easy-easy lang sa buhay. even with my friends. my closest friends pa nga minsan eh.

honestly it wasn't the best feeling talaga. parang nasobrahan ko yata ang pagiging seryoso ko sa mga bagay-bagay. some of my friends noticed it and began asking why i was acting quite strange lately. nakakalimutan ko na daw minsan kung pano mag-smile. sabi ko na lang 'emotional stress' kasi. oo nga. medyo ganun nga. but i know that most of that stress i was telling them weren't because of other people but 'coz of myself din. since i wanted to have this 'seriousness' in me, i overworked myself.

it was really a tough job adjusting, lalo na kasi sarili ko lang decision yun na i'll be like this and that. thus i came unnoticed. i acted quite differently at that time while everyone else was just being normal. so the result was a total chaos for me. then eventually i got tired of who i was at that point na i started wondering where the problem really was. at ako rin nga yun.
that was the time i tried looking for help. and it was from up above.
naguguluhan na ako nun. why i acted like this. how come i started hating other people. etc.

and then that's where i realized the importance of homeostasis.


right now im trying to put back the things that were in me last year but have been forgotten or ignored recently.


and i want to apologize to all the people that i (directly or indirectly) treated badly for the last couple of months. it was the unstable me. i'm sorry.

maybe some haven't noticed it. maybe they just don't care. or maybe i'm only over-reacting right now. or maybe they knew but decided not to mess with it. or maybe - yeah right whatever.


it was a totally messy experience for me. how foolish of me to do that. (im glad i still have my friends with me at this point)

though my inner thoughts are starting to stabilize, i know that that picture i previously painted in my mind will remain very clear to me.
that made me feel so sure of myself.

and that will lead me to where i really wanna go.

(i don't mind going there with someone else. besides, that'd be fun.)

..rheyian™ XD