(They're all over the net, but I got them here.)
*music plays on background*
- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
- Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
- Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
- Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
- Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
- Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
- Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
- Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
- Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
- Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
- How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
- When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
- Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
- How old are you before it can be said you died of old age?
- If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
- Do penguins have knees?
- Why did Sally sell seashells on the seashore when you can just pick them up anyway?
- In libraries, do they put the bible in the fiction or non-fiction section?
- Does a two-humped camel store more water than a one-humped camel?
- Why is it that if someone yells "duck" they are helping you, but if they yell "chicken" they are insulting you?
- If you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your tummy?
- How can Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?
- Why are red buttons always the most important?
- Why do Easter bunnies carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
- If marbles are not made of marble, why are they called marbles?
- If you dig a hole through the center of the earth, come out on the other side, and then let go, would you be falling down or floating up?
- Can you slam a revolving door?
- If you only have one eye...are you blinking or winking?
- Why is it that people duck in the rain, do they really think the rain won't hit them?
- Why do they put holes in crackers?
- Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
- Why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune?
- How can you hear yourself think?
- Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?
- Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?
- Did they have antiques in the olden days?
- If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
- Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?
- Why are boxing rings square?
- Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
- Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
- Do cows drink milk?
- Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you down?
- Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?
- Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?
Okay. That's it.
Bye bye!
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Listening to: A.B. O'Neill - California
via FoxyTunes
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